I absolutely love Netflix’s series, Grace and Frankie, and it’s not just because of the witty banter or the chemistry between Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin. I love it because it explores a topic that many women aren’t even comfortable discussing between friends – sex toys. In fact, the two septuagenarians started a sex toy business specifically for older women after Grace had her very first experience using a vibrator and wound up with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome!
Right now, we live in a world where 10 to 40% of women have difficulty achieving orgasm. While we say it’s never too late to have new experiences, you shouldn’t wait until you’re in your 70’s to start using sex toys! Today, we’re going to give you a crash course on how to use adult sex toys so the next time you’re feeling a little frisky, you’ll know the ins and outs (no pun intended) of sex toys and how to use them.
Simple Tips for Using Sex Toys Like a Pro
Using a sex toy isn’t necessarily about how you use it – in most cases you just need to lube up and put the toy on the feel-good zones. Sure, some of the toys will need to be charged up or have fresh batteries put in, but other than that… It’s pretty self-explanatory.
This section is a collection of our best tried-and-true tips for using toys in the bedroom (or wherever else you may want to play!).
Tip #1: Use Sex Toy Lubricants
One of the most important (but often overlooked) things to play with toys is to have adequate lubrication. Even if you think your own natural lubricant is enough, we still recommend using a water-based lube — or a natural-based lubricant because, as they say, the slipperier the better! It goes without saying that being wet helps make sexual experiences more comfortable and enjoyable, but there is another important side to lube as well.
That side is reactivity with toy materials. Water-based variants tend to be the safest pick for most people – after all, water does not react with any materials. Most lubes are made from silicone or other oils – which do start reacting with the material of the sex toy – thus damaging it over time. If you want your toy to last forever (or at least for many years), then do yourself a favor and stay with water-based lube. Lots of it!
Tip #2: Enjoy the Build Up
In a world where we want instant gratification, using sex toys isn’t one of those things that should be rushed. Don’t get us wrong, sometimes it’s nice to get off quickly and go about the rest of your day. However, when you’re first starting out with a toy, you should go slowly. If you’re using a vibrator, use the lowest setting and explore your body before increasing the speed/power.
A slowly built up orgasm feels crazy good and while it does require a bit of patience, it’s more than worth the extra effort. By the time you have mastered the art of self-control and the build up – your orgasms will be body-convulsing, eye-twitching, and you will be left screaming – and that’s what you want!
Tip #3: Bring Your Partner into the fun
If you’re using toys with a partner, show them how you like to pleasure yourself with your toys. Verbalize what you like, what feels good, and what doesn’t.
Using sex toys alone can be super fun, don’t get me wrong. However, in order to change things up I would definitely recommend bringing your partner into the whole experience. You might find that your partner can find completely new and innovative way of using your sex toys.
Different angles, different power, the human connection – it all adds to the experience, and it’s definitely worth bringing your partner into the fun sometimes.
Tip #4: Be Aware of the Material
Sex toys are made from several different materials and each material will give you a different feeling. Therefore, it’s important to take into consideration the material into consideration when using your sex toy.
Sex toys can be made from a variety of materials – silicone, rubber, plastic, glass – or hell, even metal! Naturally you would not use a metal sex toy in the same way as you would a silicone toy. Therefore, always keep the material of your toy in mind when using it!
Tip #5: Always Clean Your Sex Toys
This should go without saying, but when you’re playing with toys, you’re going to want to clean them thoroughly before storage. We recommend using a mild soap and warm water for your toys. If you have a toy made from silicone, glass or metal, you can boil them or put them in the dishwasher as long as there aren’t any electrical components.
A dirty sex toy is nasty – and you should do everything to avoid it. Thankfully, it’s not that difficult at all. Once again, it’s important to know what is the material of your toy, and go from there. Most sex toys are super easy to clean, and soap will kill all bacteria just fine.
Tip #6: Change things up
I know that once you hit that sweet spot of using a sex toy, it can be hard to go back to experimenting. After all, we all have only a set number of positions which work for us, and it makes sense to go with the ones you know will work.
However, discovering new positions for using sex toys is the most amazing feeling in the world – seriously. Try going into doggy-position and using a toy from behind, try riding a toy like a cowgirl – try EVERYTHING! The only way to discover new ways of using your sex toys is to experiment!
Tip #7: Use Multiple Sex Toys at the same Time
Now we are already getting a bit crazy, aren’t we?
This tip might not be for the faint-hearted, but if you are a little on the naughty side – then this tip is definitely worth a try. Try using multiple sex toys to stimulate different pleasure points at the same time.
For example, one of my favorites is using a clitoral vibrator and an anal dildo at the same time. Imagine the feeling of powerful clitoral masturbation, coupled together with the sensation of fullness from a dildo. It’s absolutely crazy, and I love it – and you might just love it as well – give it a try!
Tip #8: Use Sex toys in the public!
It might sound a bit weird, but using sex toys in crowded areas is actually surprisingly easy. That is because of the invention of vibrating panties which can look just like regular panties to the unknowing eye. However, they contain a naughty little secret – a pocket for a vibrator!
You can turn the vibrator on and off while walking around, and the whole experience can be incredibly arousing. The fear of getting caught, and chatting with an unknowing hot coworker – it’s so-so fun. While I am usually not able to reach orgasm in the public, it’s still an incredibly arousing feeling. And, once I get home after using vibrating panties in the public, there is nothing more satisfying than bringing myself to a powerful climax at home with all this arousal already built up.
Tip #9: Only buy from reputable sellers
When it comes to shopping for sex toys, there can be many pitfalls. This is where the idea of CyberDear was born – we wanted to show our friends which sex toy shops are worth using, and which ones should be avoided like the plague.
From my personal experience, Lovehoney is the top go-to choice, as their selection is superior to all others, and their quality has never failed me so far.
I would not recommend buying sex toys from Amazon, as the quality assurance there is not as good as on online shops dedicated specifically to sex toys.
Tip #10: Just relax!
The last tip of the day is actually fairly simple – when using sex toys – just relax!
Don’t worry about noises coming from the outside, don’t worry about any stress factors – forget all that, and put yourself into a state of zen-like relaxation.
In this state, you will have the best orgasms of your life, as your body will become truly free and relaxed. Learn to forget about stressing factors during masturbation, and I can assure you that you will have much more fun while using sex toys.
Final Thoughts on Sex Toys and How to Use Them
According to statistics gathered from Planned Parenthood, 80% of women have difficulty achieving an orgasm just from vaginal penetration. If you identify as one of these women, you could improve the likelihood of climaxing when you experiment with sex toys. Not only can a toy help you explore your sexuality and make you feel good, but they are also a lot of fun when you use them with your partner – oh-la-la! Just remember to choose phthalate-free toys, use lots of lube, and clean your toys after each use!