Everywhere you go, sex and sexuality are being talked about. It’s in the magazines, on your television, on billboards, and the list goes on and on. Even Rebecca Sugar’s cartoon series, Steven Universe, proudly put a homosexual couple that has fused together as one of the show’s main characters, Garnet. As society slowly becomes more relaxed about these topics, there is still one topic that is still relatively off limits: anal sex (even though Teen Vogue published a guide to anal sex).
What’s interesting is that today, approximately 36% of women and 42% of men have tried anal and with the normalization of the act, does that mean it should be incorporated into our regular sexual activities? That isn’t for us to say – it’s up to you and your partner.
However, if you are interested in trying anal, you first need to know how to prepare for anal sex. In this guide, we are going to talk about what is anal training and how to get started.
Anal training is exactly what it sounds like – you are preparing your anus for penetration, either with a penis, anal dildo, anal vibrators, and other toys. Despite what porn would leave you to believe, you can go in hard and fast with anal because your booty is not as malleable as the vagina, therefore you have to be much more aware and cautious. The more time you take preparing the anus for penetration, the better your chances will be of anal being pleasurable regardless of gender.
How to Train for Anal Sex
Here are some simple steps you can take in order to train yourself for anal sex.
The key to anal training and anal sex is to be in the right mindset. If you’re anxious about the act, you are not going to enjoy it because you’re going to be incredibly tense. Tense rectum muscles mean penetration is going to be hard (no pun intended) and it’ll hurt. When your mind is relaxed, your body will also relax.
Get an Anal Training Kit
Once you’ve relaxed your mind and body, only then should you start experimenting with an anal training kit. These kits come with three or more butt plugs of different sizes (usually small, medium and large and they’re usually made from a solid material (silicone, stainless steel, and glass are commonly used) and feature a smooth exterior and a rounded top that gets wider toward as you go down the shaft. The butt plugs also have a large flat base so that it doesn’t accidentally get lost in the rectal canal.
Start Off Small
Naturally, the first butt plug you’ll want to experiment with should be the smallest. Before you’re ready to insert the plug, you will want to apply plenty of lubricant to the plug and your anus. With a slick plug and anus, slowly and gently push the plug into your anus until the muscles sort of “suck” the plug inside and the base of the plug is flush against your bum.
Once it’s inside, you now have options:
- Leave the plug inside and move onto foreplay and/or vaginal sex
- Wait a little bit and then move up to the next sized plug to get prepared for anal sex
Transitioning to Anal Sex
Usually the goal of anal training is to prepare your body for anal sex, however, you don’t have to go that route until you are absolutely ready. If you’ve decided that you’re ready to take the next step, you’ll first want to use the largest plug and lots of lube. Once the largest plug is in place and the receiver is fully relaxed, you can remove the plug and apply more lubricant to both the anus and the penis or toy*.
*Note: When the plug has been removed, the anus will remain open only for a short time frame before the anus shrinks back to its natural size. This means you’ll want to lube up and penetrate quickly (but still gently!)
Lube, Lube, Lube!
It goes without saying that lube will be your best friend during any kinds of anal experimentation. Without lube, your first forays into anal will almost certainly be painful.
However, if you get some good-quality lube (silicone lube is fantastic for anal sex), then the whole experience will be considerably easier and more enjoyable.
Therefore – use lube, and use lots of it!
Using Anal Beads
You might be wondering – what the hell are anal beads?
Well, they are exactly what their name would suggest – they are a bunch of beads which you insert into your anus!
They are an excellent method of training for anal sex, as they allow you to insert gradually bigger balls inside of your anus – thus stretching it over time. It’s a very enjoyable experience – I highly recommend it!
Whenever you practice anal sex, take some extra measures to protect yourself and your partner – both from physical pain and also from sexually transmitted diseases.
Always use condoms, and use lube – these will go a long way in ensuring safety for yourself and your partner.
Final Thoughts on How to Stretch the Anus for Anal Sex
Anal sex can be incredibly pleasurable for women, as well as men because there are thousands of sensitive nerve endings in the anus. Unlike the clitoris, you can’t be rough and tough with it. You have to be gentle, take your time, and always use plenty of lubricant – just not the numbing kind (4)! Lubricant with numbing agents in it will block out the pain, but the pain is quite useful, as it’ll let you know when something isn’t right.
Don’t let the thought of anal sex scare you! This sexual act can be a great addition to your sex life, as long as you and your partner are on the same page. Fellas, just because your lady consents to vaginal sex, don’t automatically assume she’ll be okay with anal. Always ask first and wait for verbal consent. Even if you’re in the process of having anal, the moment she says stop or mentions pain or discomfort, stop.
A respectful lover is always a welcome bedroom companion.